That Big Love + Lyrics

It is safe to say that I have had my fair share of experiences with love and one of the things I have learnt is that every love is different.
For a few years I think I was searching too hard, I was in love with the idea of true love. I tried fixing a dead relationship, insistent that it would be okay, but I was only trying to convince myself. I was scared to lose something that was only perfect in my head. When that relationship ended, I gave up searching for love – I decided to spend some time on myself, doing things that made me happy.

They say that if you search for love you won’t find it, it will come to you and that is what happened to me. On the day that I least expected it, at work, sweaty, tired and stressed, my next journey walked into the bar.

When I look back at my past relationships I think I must have been crazy to call that love, because now it is so much different; it is like every emotion is heightened. I wish I could tell you that this love was perfect and smooth, but it is not and never has been. From the moment my eyes locked with his, our lives together have been chaos.

I know what a big love is now and I know how much it hurts when you both have to walk away because we have no choice. But does a big love, like I have, ever end? It doesn’t matter how many people come and go from my life, he always remains and I think he always will. Why? Because this is the biggest of all emotions and the hardest to erase. It is a feeling you have to learn to live with and understand that nothing will ever compare to it.

I write about my encounters with love because nothing is more inspiring than something so raw and true.

Sometimes I hope that there is more to our story and sometimes I pray that there is not, because I am scared of how much more I can feel, but what is even scarier is the thought of not ever feeling it again.

Big loves are scary and hard and dangerous, the cause of inspiration for most of my writing, but they are also addictive, fearless and passionate. I wouldn’t trade my emotions for anything else.

“You consume my mind,
Even in my darkest times,
You lift up my soul,
You make me feel whole,

Lift me up and bring me down,
Spin me around, every night in my dreams,

Some love is big, some love is true,
Some love is real and mine is you,

We don’t all get our prince charming,
Is it love if it’s not consuming,
If it’s easy it’s not fun,
Girl you should run towards the loaded gun,

Some love is big, some love is true,
Some love is real and mine you,

Don’t get lost in, a disposable love,
Don’t get stuck in, what’s not real, it’s not free, it’s not meant to be,

Some love is big, some love is true,
Some love is real and mine is you.”
– Aisha B