Why We Love Love

Love is something that we as humans are aware of from the day we are born, whether that is because we are loved by our parents or because we long for the love of a lost family.
There are so many different shades of love; love for family, friends, partners, pets, even strangers, but we all know the love that we crave the most.

So what is it that we crave?

Sometimes I wonder if it is the feeling of being wanted and needed that I crave about love, it is an emotion between people that allows the other to feel a sense of purpose. This could be argued to be one of the most fundamental and basic needs of a human – love. I can not speak for everyone and I can only talk about the experiences that I have had with love over my 22 years in the world, but for me there are many things that I crave when it comes to love and relationships.
There is a enticing mystery hidden behind the word ‘love’, it is something unknown, undetermined and continuously new. Take a look at all of your relationships…did you feel the same way for them all? Probably not, because every relationship is different and that is what I call the different shades of love.
When you first meet someone and start talking to them you never know where the relationship might end, you never know how far your feelings might go. We don’t know the future and whilst that is scary, that is just another thing that we crave. Excitement, mystery, fear.

Some people may be searching for love as a distraction from something else, often themselves. Maybe you are looking for someone to love you because you don’t love yourself, maybe you are searching for someone to fill the hole your last relationship left.
It is important to be okay on your own, to know who you are, because if you don’t know who you are then you will only push yourself further away from the truth.
We are naturally inspired by others and follow other peoples hobbies and likes to please them, to have something in common with someone; but ask yourself; is that really you?

Personally I crave love because I am fascinated with the idea of it all. I am terrified of finding the right person, settling down and buying a house together…but that doesn’t mean I don’t want that some day. I love the stories that I can write because of a love that I have shared, I love the inspiration I feel, the drama and chaos that it might bring.
Maybe I am simply in love with the idea of love, maybe I am already in love. Maybe I will never get married and have kids, no one ever knows. It is finding out the unknown that I love.

“To love someone is nothing, to be loved by someone is something, but to be loved by the one you love is everything”

Bill Russell

Love After Loss

It is like love is the one thing that we never learn to be truly afraid of. For example, you burn yourself on the stove…it hurts, you learn not to do that again, or you break your leg jumping out of a tree, you probably wouldn’t do that again. But with love, we get our hearts broken over and over. We might not always make the same mistake, but it is the same part of you breaking and we all know that it hurts…a lot. So why do we keep going back?
Hope.
We always say there is someone else better out there, someone that is going to be right for you, treat you better, and to us, that is exciting. It is yet another mystery. The connection and emotions of a true love is overpowering and can change everything in your life.

I have many stories that have come out of my relationships, some I can laugh at now, others I will never speak of and even after everything my heart and head has been through, I still crave the feeling of love.

Why do we love love? Because we are only human and our emotions are the most powerful thing that we own.

Love, Yourself

Dear me,

You once lost yourself, don’t let that happen again. It took you longer than a year to find yourself again and trust me, it wasn’t because you lost him, it was because you found him. You let him into your life and persuaded yourself that that was how you wanted to live, did you really not hear the truth behind your own lies.
You used to lay in bed at night crying, tears falling, because of the life that you chose, because of who you chose. You hated yourself and who you had become – but you never hated him.

When you lost him and he walked out of your life, you felt lost and alone, you were scared and heartbroken. The funny thing is, is that that is seen to be normal; people say it all the time, that when we lose people we lose ourselves. Not true. When you met him you lost yourself. You changed, and only now can you see that. Am I right?

Never forget who you are, no matter how intense your love may be, your love for yourself should always be more consuming. Have time for yourself, have time for your friends, have time for your family, and only then, have time for him.

You used to read a lot, you used to get up on a stage and dance…until you didn’t. Remember what made you happy, write a list of hobbies, people, foods, and make sure that you are true to yourself and keep being you. Don’t let yourself fall into another trap, into a life of someone else, someone unfamiliar.
Know you – Be you – Stay you.

Always have your own back,

Love,
Yourself